Talk to your teens about healthy dating relationships!

Spring is here . . .
Have you talked to your teens about love and healthy dating relationships?

Spring is coming and romance is in the air! Now might be the perfect time to talk with your teens about love, romance and healthy dating relationships. (Just don’t call it healthy dating relationships!)

As parents, we hope we can offer some wisdom from our own life experience and often we can. But perhaps the most valuable things parents can offer are our fully engaged minds and hearts as we LISTEN to our teens. The truth is, no matter how young a parent you are, you do not know what it’s like to be a teen today. Having a conversation where you do most of the listening is a good way to find out. Resist the temptation to jump in and solve any problems. Just listen and try to understand. Knowing that you’re willing to listen and that you do understand helps teens work toward their own solutions to any problems.

Getting a conversation going on dating relationships may feel a little awkward - Here are a few ideas to help start the conversation.

Get clear in your own mind what values and skills you think are essential in a healthy dating relationship – things like open communication, trust, honesty, respect, equality, consensual decision-making.
Talk with your teens about those skills and values. Listen to their perceptions. The popular youth culture has a very loud voice – and often the message is the polar opposite of how to create healthy dating relationships.
Use the youth culture – music, movies, magazines, websites etc. to start a conversation. Watch/listen with your teens. Then ask some questions – but later on, not in the middle of the show!
What do you think about the way that girl was always texting her boyfriend on that TV show? Does she trust him?
Did that couple have sex without even talking about what that would mean for each of them?
It seems odd - that guy on the show doesn’t give the girl he claims to love any space for herself or for her to have her own friends and things to do apart from him.
All that couple does is argue – what do you think that was about?

Just ignore any rolled eyes or disdainful sighs and listen as hard as you can!

If you need some help having this conversation, check out these great online resources for parents:
· Choose Repect: Talking with your teen.
· Love Is Not Abuse: What boys need to know about dating abuse.
· Start Strong Initative: Start relating before they start dating!
· The Date Safe Project: Help your teen make safer and smarter choices

For more information or to get involved with promoting healthy teen dating relationships, please contact Project PEACE Coordinator Jo Johnson jejohnson@arlingtonva.us or Mary Ann Moran, mmoran@arlingtonva.us